Always game for a lame one or two, am I, so here are some science jokes for the New Year:
Two theoretical physicists are lost at the top of a mountain. Theoretical physicist No 1 pulls out a map and peruses it for a while. Then he turns to theoretical physicist No 2 and says: "Hey, I've figured it out. I know where we are."
"Where are we then?" "Do you see that mountain over there?" "Yes." "Well… THAT'S where we are."
A blowfly goes into a bar and asks: "Is that stool taken?"
A statistician is someone who tells you, when you've got your head in the fridge and your feet in the oven, that you're – on average - very comfortable.
And a couple of limericks to finish with:
A friend who's in liquor production,
Has a still of astounding construction,
The alcohol boils,
Through old magnet coils,
He says that it's proof by induction.
A mosquito was heard to complain
That chemists had poisoned her brain.
The cause of her sorrow
*p.s. That's DDT.